Hello World,
So I am new to this whole blogging thing and I thought I would give it a try. However, I should warn you that strange events have a habit of finding me and I view the world through a very animated set of eyes. I make every effort to maintain the accuracy of the stories you read but I take creative license in embellishing a few details from time to time (I get that trait from my father, Rod The Bod). Rest assured all stories are based on true events no matter how unbelievable they may seem.
To bring you up to speed...I am a recent University of Iowa graduate with degrees in Psychology and French. I really have no explanation for why I chose those degrees and I really have no set plan as to what I hope to accomplish with them. However, upon graduating I accepted a position with Teach For America and I will be teaching High School physics in an inner city school in Minneapolis for the next two years. I have zero experience as an educator and let's just say I have less than average skills when it come to physics (I dropped out of my high school physics class and physics is the only subject I failed in college). The positive spin on this situation is that when my students ask me why they have to learn this stuff I can look them in the eye and say with all honesty and experience, "Because one day, you may become a high shool physics teacher."
Situations like these are fairly common in my life. I actually tend to jump into things without much consideration and as a result I land myself in awkward situations pretty often. For example, my senior year of college I decided to try out to be "Herky the Hawk," the University of Iowa mascot. For two weeks I had to compete against 13 other strange individuals who thought it would be fun to dress like a bird and do the macarena in front of 70,000 people on a weekly basis (The position was unpaid and it actually cost me a couple hundred dollars just to drive to my appearances). Despite threats from my girlfriend to break up with me, I accepted the role and entered the secret world of mascoting. A couple hundred awkward birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and weddings later I am happily retired and can now appreciate the amount of courage it takes an adult man to put on a costume and take ridicule from 8yr olds and awkard sexual advances from their mothers on a daily basis.
My other favorite past time is spending my nights working at a hospital as a nursing assistant. It's not for everyone, but I love the long hours, less than adequate pay, smell of feces, and slightly racist and sexual enuendos of the elderly patients I bathe. I now have a greater appreciation for my health and my ability to wipe my own butt. So many poop stories but so little time. My experience working at a hospital has been very insightful and one day I hope to open up a hospital cruise where people can chose to receive treatment aboard a 5star cruise ship and enjoy dialysis pool side while playing shuffle board and eating copious amounts of buffet style ribs. I also hope to open an adult version of Build-A-Bear called Build-A-Beer where people can come in and build their own style of beer and have it named after them like, "Dale's Pale Ale." Another idea I have is to design an MP3 tie clip. (I once used an iPod mini as a tie clip and someone asked what department store sold MP3 tie clips.) I think I have lots of great ideas but usually it's just my undiagnosed ADD and schizophrenia. My thought process is made up of a bunch of voices shouting inside my head and sometimes it is really hard to make them stop.
Despite how it sounds, I consider myself fairly average and I just try to live the dream one day at a time. I don't want to make this first post too long so I will end it there. Till next time.
Later dudes,
KDFW
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